they have great faith (day 16)

You know how little kids jump on you without even thinking, like they know somehow that you’re going to catch them. It seems crazy to me. I know I had that child-like abandon as a kid. There’s home videos to prove it. But somewhere, at some point in time, I stopped jumping without making sure that someone or something was there to catch me.

Little kids have great faith, and yet working with them in ministry is totally different than working with any other group of people. Most kids, especially these ones here, simply need love. They need someone to play pool or ping-pong with them. They need someone to watch them flip on the trampoline. They need someone to climb on and drive them to the beach. They need someone to care enough to make them a peanut butter and jam sandwich and give them a cookie and some clean water. They need someone to encourage them to dance, to paint their toenails and remember their name. They need someone to smile at them and give them a hug and fix their cardboard shark visors when they break.

They need you to be Jesus.

I just finished reading a book by Jeff Jacobson called “So I Go Now”. In it, he talks about what modern-day Jesus would look like. He claims that Jesus would ride a Harley with no helmet, drive into the slum areas and always look like he had always known whoever he talked to. And he would have. He would look rough, but radiate love. He would be challenging and call us to get our hands dirty, but He would help us along the way.

It may sound cliché, but the most obvious example I can give you all right now is one of the people I currently have the great privilege to live and work with. Everyone on my team has been awesome, but if I had to pick one that has completely represented Christ in everything, it would be John.

He has not been at full health since we landed in New Zealand, but that hasn’t stopped him one bit. He is constantly on the move and always has a smile on his face and the strength to hold one more kid on his back. He serves without asking questions, drives all over to run errands and pick kids up, and wholeheartedly loves every kid he works with. I see Jesus so clearly in him and everything he does. It’s an awesome opportunity to be able to serve these kids alongside someone who so clearly is Jesus to them.

Sometimes children’s ministry is hard. Because when you are only here for 3 weeks, you don’t see a whole lot of immediate results. But kids remember when you hang out with them four days a week and spend the time taking them places they don’t really get to go.

So even if you only spend 15 minutes a day telling them about Jesus, it’s alright. Because for 10 days, you’ve shown them Jesus in everything you’ve done and the many ways you’ve loved them.

“Jesus said, ‘Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.’”
- Matthew 19:14

LOTR Meets the World Race

This was a video challenge we encountered at Launch Training Camp. We had to make a video and our only prompt was "the Kingdom of Heaven is like..." from Matthew 13. So here is what my creative and brilliant team came up with.

Props to Jake and Emily for so closely resembling Hobbits. Points to John for being the perfect Gandalf. Christine was the creative genius behind the Lord of the Rings idea and the wonderful cameo. And Brook did a fabulous job as our fearless leader.

Enjoy the lost story of Frodo and the Hidden Treasure...

LOTR: Tale of the Hidden Treasure from Margie Termeer on Vimeo.

a conversation on a bus (day 5)

It was like training camp all over again, in a great way. We all regrouped in Matamata, NZ at a YWAM base for 5 days before we got shipped out to our different contacts. And there will be more on that later. So Saturday our teams got on buses and traveled to separate parts of the North Island.

I talked with Robby our squad leader in the morning and he was asking me some random questions. One was, “what is your favorite color?” and I immediately responded with “green!” We were talking with several other racers about how excited we were to leave and go do ministry. We had a three hour bus ride ahead of us so we were looking forward to relaxing on that and Robby said offhandedly, “you never know what can happen on buses…”

How true Robby, how true.

We loaded on the bus yesterday around 3:45, ready for our 3-hour trip. There weren’t a whole lot of open seats, and really none close together, so I found myself sitting next to a young guy who was wearing a bright green shirt. He had a book on his lap, so I figured, we’ll say hi, he’ll read, I’ll read, this will just be an all around nice little trip.

Instead, I had a three hour conversation with a perfect stranger. And it was great. We made some small talk about where we were from (he’s a local kiwi) and what America was like. And we talked about New Zealand and United States politics and Obama and insurance and all of those crazy things. I had given him a vague description of the World Race when we first started talking without going into too much crazy detail.

And it was silent for a few minutes and then he asked a question that opened the doors. He wondered if televangelists and all the things that go along with that was really what represented the American church. So I went with it. I told him why all of us were REALLY doing the World Race and I told him about our experiences in meeting with God and what it is like to live in community and serve. It was an amazing conversation. He had grown up Catholic, but gotten frustrated with “religion.” So he claimed to have faith, but said that it was a more personal, individualistic thing. So we talked about community, about Jesus, about Loving God and Loving Others. He asked about my goals for the trip and this crazy year and I told him honestly.

I walked off the bus smiling. I feel this sense of joy when I get a glimpse of the ways that God works and the ways that he is going to use us this year. God is good, real good. You truly never know what will happen on a bus.

the shire (day 1)

I currently reside across the street from the Shire. Seriously. New Zealand is beautiful, green, has many rolling hills and the sun is shining brightly as I write this at 4:15pm on Tuesday. We are safe and sound at a YWAM base about two hours from Auckland, where we landed at 5:00 this morning. It has been a long day, but it has also been good, full of reunions with people I met and couldn’t wait to see again after saying goodbye to 10 weeks ago at Training Camp.

God is good. That theme keeps resounding in my head, as I meet and talk with people I’ve known only a few short months. He is so good. As most of you already know, I am fully funded for the race. And what is even more wonderful is that out of the 6 people on my team, 4 of us are fully funded for the race. This first week spent in New Zealand will be spent together, all 115 of us living and breathing community. Most of us are way past excited and also a little nervous and scared. There’s so many unknowns, but that’s part of the adventure. And the thing is, God knows. He knows it all, and there is an overwhelming sense of peace among all of us simply because He is in control over every single aspect of this race.

So we begin our adventure. Today is day one, technically. All glory to Him. Here we go.

world race video

Words seriously cannot express how excited I am for this trip. Especially with these people. So pumped. Enjoy the video.

World Race - January 2010 from Margie Termeer on Vimeo.

the letter e

I like the letter e. I use it a lot. Did I think it would completely change my perspective on how God works? Not. A. Chance.

Fast forward to training camp – individual lives were changed and our teams had been made. My team is awesome and soon I’ll fill you guys in on my team members. Friday rolled around and it was “Ministry Day”. This is the part where I’m thinking, “Don’t make me do this, don’t make me go talk to strangers on the street. I’m not good at this…” Every time I think this, I should just know that God is going to rock my world. Every time I feel incapable, He pulls through.

We learned that we were going to head into a part of town called Little Mexico on Friday afternoon to do ministry. What exactly were we going to do? God knew. We didn’t. So, we spent part of the morning praying as a team, asking God to show us where to go and who to talk to. Seemingly random images popped in our heads. We wrote them down. A man in a black hat. People with umbrellas walking down the street. A little girl. Flowers. A corner building by a dark alley. The letter e.

Hmmm, okay God, I don’t get it. But oh well, here we go. So we drove over to Little Mexico and started walking down the street. Almost right away, we notice a man in a black hat sitting at a taco stand.

Teammate: I want some tacos.
Other teammate: Good cover, let’s go over there.

So we walk over to the taco stand and strike up a conversation with this man. We asked which tacos were the best. We asked his name. We asked where he was from and what he was doing here. And come to find out, his mom lives here and she’s sick and he moved to take care of her. So we prayed for him and his mom and that he could soon go home.

Alright, God, that was pretty cool. I didn’t say much in the conversation; some of my teammates took the lead. But I still walked away trusting God a little more.

We kept walking. We walked past a guy who was on the phone and when we were five paces past him, we realized that his hat had the letter e on the front. So what did we do? Two of my teammates turned around and chased this guy down the street. They talked for a few minutes and asked what he was doing. Turns out, he was headed to the local tattoo parlor we had already passed. Cool, maybe we’ll stop in there later on our way back to the car. The guy seemed real nice. We walked some more, talked to a few more people, prayed together and decided to head back and stop in at the tattoo parlor.

We looked around, saw the guy from earlier and struck up a conversation with the tattoo artist sitting at the front desk. He was drawing a tattoo but continued talking to whoever walked up to the desk. I was talking to him when my teammate Christine walked up and started talking about a book she’d recently read about the connection between creativity and spirituality. And all of sudden, I could see this guy get real interested in what she was saying. So before we both knew it, this guy is telling us that he has a little faith but he’s questioning whether or not you can be sure about going to heaven. “OH MY GOODNESS!” I’m thinking. This is crazy. This is unexpected. And I have no clue how to say everything I want to say to this guy.

So God stepped in, plain and simple. He gave us the words. He led my team leader over to share the gospel story with us to this man and another teammate came over and shared some scripture with this guy. We prayed with him before we left and made sure to give him a phone number so that he could get in contact with someone who could continue to answer his questions.

I walked out of that tattoo parlor thinking in a completely different way. God can use whatever he wants to lead us to people who are searching. It can even be as simple as the letter e.

I always glanced over the letter e. I NEVER considered that it could change my perspective on how God works, much less maybe change someone’s life. But God is just that good, and just that big and just that incredible.

stained clothes

They weren’t kidding about Georgia red clay dirt. Seriously, it does stain everything you own. And when you weren’t planning on the cold days and real cold nights, you end up wearing everything warm you own, and it all gets stained.

I’m trying to decide whether or not to keep these clothes. I’m beginning to think that the stains symbolize something. Something different happened to me here this week at training camp and I’m not sure that I can adequately explain it.

God is more powerful and scary and loving and wonderful than I ever imagined. I have seen so much of God this week, and not only in my life. I walked in here on Friday night not knowing a soul. And that night I met three incredible friends, buddies, if you will that have been more than a blessing in my life over the past few days. And as we learned our final teams today, I was blessed again to be placed on a small team with one of my buddies.

God is good. I keep going back to that. And it has been amazing to see that in so many different ways, like a hike through the woods, team building activities, and some serious worship through dancing. Seriously. God is good.

It really is hard to put all in words here on a blog right now, when I’m still in the midst of all these amazing people who so clearly have God in their lives. I have been encouraged and challenged beyond belief and I LOVE it. I have come alive here and I am free.

* I would love to talk to anyone who has questions about training or about what God is doing in my life. I will be available by phone starting Sunday and home by Wednesday so feel free to call or stop by anytime. Love you all! *

where i've been and where i'm going

my room is a constant work in progress. it has been for the last four years. since i am now living at home - not moving back and forth from college - i have gotten some things done, things i have been thinking about for a long time.

i received a gift last christmas from a friend who knows me well. it was a large map of the world and it came with pins to mark the places i've been and the places i am going to.

until tonight, that map looked like this on my wall.



and i finally had the supplies i needed and the drive to make it look like i've always wanted it to look.

final product.



you may not be able to see it from the picture but there are green dots marking where I have been and pink dots marking my upcoming World Race trail. as i look at them, i notice that they are on two sides of the world. i have been mainly to north, central and south america, with one trip to africa. i am going to new zealand and australia, asia, africa and eastern europe. it dawns on me that these are places i know nothing about. the world looks both big and small to me as i sit here on my bed and stare at this map. i can't pick one or the other.

but no matter how big and how small the world is, i feel safe right now. because i know this, God is guiding me in this world. he has guided where i've been and he is guiding where i am going. simply put, he is in control and with me no matter where i am. sitting here staring at this map or traveling it, he is with me.

the summer i felt redeemed

I never remember FEELING redeemed before this summer. Redemption was something I kind of knew about, it was something I talked about in Sunday School and heard in church sermons. But I didn’t know that it could actually be FELT. I didn’t know until this summer that redemption and grace go hand in hand. I didn’t know that God’s grace is shown through HIS people. It is shown by second chances. It is shown by people trusting me again. And not just trusting, but giving me more of a chance than I had ever had in my life to live for God.

The summer started before summer. It started when I got a phone call from Wanda Wilt early in April asking me to help her co-direct our Vacation Bible School. I said, “sure, why not.” What else did I have to do at that time, really? So I jumped in full force and began learning the ropes for running VBS. It was a learning process. It involved meeting after meeting and spreadsheet after spreadsheet, but it was so worth it. From June 15th – 19th my life was consumed with morning and evening VBS. I should have just lived at the church that week.

There is something special about VBS that I still can’t place my finger on. There’s something about it that makes me cry every time we reach our missions money goal. There is something about the way the kids faces light up when they sing the songs. There’s something about the way the church transformed into the Amazon all for the kids. There’s something about dressing like a crazy person to go to church. There’s something about the way the little kids hug you on the playground every night. But most important, there’s something there that we give them that week. The Bible becomes a little more real, a little more important, and a little more exciting to them. And that’s the whole point of our long preparation, isn’t it?

Rewind a little bit in time to my first week in the office working on VBS. Gary stops me in the hallway and asks if I want to go on the Jr. High Believe conference that weekend. They really need another adult female sponsor to go, and would I be willing… Um, do you REALLY need me? I mean, Jr. High kids, come on. But once again I say, “sure, why not” and I’m off on another adventure.

My thinking about Jr. Highers changes on this trip. I swore up and down I would never work with them, and look where God has obviously placed me. He seems to do that quite often in my life. I had an incredible time and I’ve been a sucker for working with the Jr. High kids ever since.

Because of the above trip, I ended up being a sponsor at the Round Lake Jr. High week that I attended as a Jr. High student. I worked under the same deans I went to camp under. I served with the staff that served me. And I grew to love my kids even more, especially as I watched them get catapulted into the air on the blob. Camp was a highlight of my summer because of one night we had. They had an altar call for the kids and those who also wanted prayer could come forward and receive that. 5 girls from my dorm came forward for prayer and I got to sit around a table and pray with them collectively and individually. My heart broke that night as I listened to their struggles, cried with them and tried to encourage them through this time. I had no clue what to say when I walked down with them, but God gave me the words and pushed me to minister to them that night.

Another highlight came the week after camp. I got home on a Friday and boarded a plane on Saturday to go to another place I call home. I went back to Arizona, largely because they begged me to come back and bake cookies for them, but also because I had missed everyone terribly the whole year that I had been gone. My week was full of incredible moments. I drove the strip in Vegas, watched the Bellagio fountains, got Arizona iced tea at gas stations, went to church and sang with their teens, cooked in the same place I did before, ate plenty of frybread – even my favorite meal, frybread, spam and onions, sang with Daniel, had a heartbreaking and incredible conversation with Daniel, reminisced about last summer, drove up Navajo mountain, camped, saw the best view, and swam in Lake Powell. It was everything I dreamed and more. This was the place where I experienced both extreme hardships and also extreme joy. I left a part of my heart with those people, and I will always carry a part of them with me.

The end of July provided me another opportunity to work with Jr. High students. I took a three day mission trip with them to the Christian Children’s Home of Ohio, where my main job was to cook for our team. Our kids built and painted picnic tables for the children’s home. We also got to climb a 40-foot tower and zipline down. This was a new a scary experience for many of these kids, and it was fun to be there and encourage them in this adventure.

August has included a stint of grandma-sitting for some of my friends’ grandma while they were on vacation. I enjoyed this way more than I thought I would. It has included a family vacation to Minnesota where I was thoroughly entertained by my cousin’s 4 and 2 year old boys. And it has also included me going back to Tree of Life as a secretary for 3 weeks, a job that was an answer to a prayer I didn’t even know I had.


At the beginning of all of this, I had no clue what the next year held in store for me. Many of you who read this already know that the next year of my life holds an adventure that will be greater than I can even imagine at this point. Another part of my FEELING redeemed this summer was my acceptance into a program called the World Race. It is through an organization in Georgia called Adventures in Missions and it is an 11-month, 11 country missions trip experience. I heard about this trip in February of 2008 and ever since then, it has been on the back of my mind. When I didn’t receive an internship that I had applied for, the World Race once again popped into my mind and I began the application process in May. In mid-June I got accepted and it has been a whirlwind of emotions ever since. I am incredible excited, but I have days where I am scared out of my mind wondering what I am thinking. God calls us out of our comfort zones, and while I know that I can do this with HIM, I still can’t stop the scary feeling I get knowing that I am leaving everything I know for 11 months. It is a long time, but this is something that He has called me to do, and I’m going to do it.
So, New Zealand, Australia, Malaysia, Thailand, Cambodia, Kenya, Uganda, Pioneer Africa, Romania, Ukraine and Pioneer Eastern Europe, here I come.

I have been broken. And I am redeemed.

(For more information on the World Race, check our their website at www.theworldrace.org or my World Race blog at www.margietermeer.theworldrace.org)

never thought this would happen

Jr. High kids were not my specialty. In fact, a year ago or 6 months ago, I had NO plans of really working with them, ever. But my plans are not the best, really. So when God opened the door to work with jr. high kids, I stepped through in faith. And I have had the time of my life ever since.

These kids are great. I have learned to LOVE them. I have learned from them. I was recruited as a mentor, but these kids have ministered to me more than I could realize. They are part of my second chance. I look forward to every minute I get to spend with them.

And boy, do we have fun together...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMovoo6QEZQ

girls in blue dresses with no satin sashes...

I really wish I could explain what the sisterhood meant to me.

There's been wonderful times that we've walked through together (mostly late at nite and involving macaroni and cheese).

There's been hard times (with many tears) that we have unfortunately walked through together.

But through it all, these three girls have been ones I could call at any time.


And today, one of them got married. Lisa always tried to take care of us. Her older sister, mother instinct kicked in quite early in the sisterhood, and it is one of the things I love about her.

But Lisa also knows how to have an incredibly good time (seaweed, anyone?)


Congratulations, Lisa and Lin - know that I will always be praying for you both. And Lisa, just because you're married doesn't mean that sisterhood moments can't be relived...

ah. here we go...

Here goes the month of July…

First of all, there’s the wedding. Lisa is getting married in less than 48 hours and it’s going to be an all day affair, but it will be a fun one.

I have one day to recoup.

Sunday, I leave for jr. high church camp up at Round Lake. I haven’t been up there in two years, and I am really excited. Two years ago, I got to go to Round Lake with a bunch of other people from church as well as a bunch of our jr. high kids. This year, I’m the only sponsor from church with a dozen or so of our kids, but I’m still really excited. I’ll get to be a family leader and get to know not only whoever I am leading a family with, but also all of my kids.

In my head, and a few times out loud, I’ve said that jr. high kids weren’t my favorite and I couldn’t really picture myself working with them.

Well, God likes to take what I say and turn it around. And like I’ve learned before, I’ve seen it again lately, His plans are ALWAYS better (and more fun) than mine.

So I’ve been working with jr. high kids. And I love them. I love talking to them, I love subbing for them, and I love being around them.

So, RLCA, since you invested in me in jr. high school so many times, here I am again, to invest in however many of the 140 kids next week that I can.

Jr. high, here I come.

After jr. high camp, life gets even more exciting. I’m going to Vegas.

Just flying there, where I go beyond Vegas is way more exciting to me than Vegas. Inscription House, AZ, here I come.

I love this place. I left my heart there. (For more details or info, go back and read my old posts from last summer about this place and the incredible people that I love there.)

It’s been too long since I’ve seen this family, this family that I am a part of. Sarah told me to come back anytime after I told her I loved eating drybread with sheep fat and liver.

So, Arizona, I am so ready to see you. I am so ready to walk across eggshell arch, to hike down in the canyon, to drive fast with Jere, to talk with Daniel, and to give every single family member a hug.

Life is good when you can see and be with the people you love. This is going to be a great July.

waterslide lines, or any kind of line

I went to hang out with Anna. People watching is an added bonus. The local waterpark just happens to be the perfect place to do both.

We were standing in line yesterday, waiting for a slide, when some guy made a really strange comment to Anna about her being a competitive swimmer, then proceeded to tell us that the slides were so crazy he sometimes screams four-letter words. We weren’t impressed. We went down the slide and thought we were done talking. Lo and behold, we see this guy and his friend again, in another line, another opportunity for a short conversation.

It was typical, until we asked when they had come to the waterpark today. The guy said 2:00, because they had been drinking the night before and slept in late. Not impressed again, either of us. We tried to end the conversation as soon as we could. The slide line couldn’t move fast enough.

After it was over, I looked at Anna, and we both had the same look on our faces. I asked her why people always feel the need to brag about cussing and drinking. Is that really supposed to be impressive? Maybe so, maybe the world is impressed by these things. We are different. To the world, we are supposed to look weird, the be strangers, to be aliens.

After the fact, once Anna and I had walked away, we thought of several good things we could have said to these guys, things that would have made them second guess what they wanted to tell us. We were too put off in that moment to take the opportunity to talk about why those things don’t impress us. But next time, in whatever line I find myself in, I will carry on that conversation.

There’s always opportunities to shine the light in a dark place, to explain why we are like aliens in this world.

tiki huts and carpet rolls

Tiki huts and carpet roll trees were the visible signs that VBS was going on this week. The invisible signs were my brain getting ready to explode and my heart overjoyed that VBS was actually happening.

The week was crazy, crazy in a good way. It was the kind of crazy that I love. The kind of crazy that has attached to it beautiful moments engineered by little kids. There was the little girl that made Tangi wear the sparkly star-shaped sunglasses, the little kid named Matteo who spelled out his name before he said it, the way the little kids chased Chris around the playground, and the way the 6th graders got so excited about whipped cream shots from Phyllis.

But VBS definitely is not all about the funny and wonderful moments with the children. It is about sharing with them the most important thing of all time. We traveled through the Bible via the Amazon and ended on the last day with the story of Jesus. There was the skit, being acted out in front of me, re-telling a story I have heard more times than I could count.

And as I stood in the back, hanging on to a chair, I found myself crying. I listened to the story again, and I found myself overwhelmed by the gospel, again. It has happened before. The greatness of the story, the immense love that is God, physically shakes me, and tears start rolling down my face. There were two women crazily dressed up on stage trying to tell kids about Jesus, and they touched me too.

I still get overwhelmed, and I love it. The Word is alive and has the power to overwhelm me every time I hear it, or tell it.

23 places... or just 2

"The opening greeting (of Colossians) closes with a most significant placing of two things side by side. He writes to the Christians who are in Colosse and who are in Christ. A Christian always moves in two spheres. He is in a certain place in this world; but he is also in Christ. He lives in two dimensions. He lives in this world whose duties he does not treat lightly; but above and beyond that he lives in Christ. In this world he may move from place to place; but wherever he is, he is in Christ. That is why outward circumstances make little difference to the Christian; his peace and his joy are not dependent on them. That is why he will do any job with all his heart. It may be menial, unpleasant, painful, it may be far less distinguished than he might expect to have; its rewards may be small and its praise non-existent; nevertheless the Christian will do it diligently, uncomplainingly and cheerfully, for he is in Christ and does all things as to the Lord. We are all in our own Colosse, but we are all in Christ, and it is Christ who sets the tone of our living."

-William Barclay (in his commentary on Colossians)

2 places. 2 dimensions. Duties here and duties in Christ. Our own Colosse's.

Today and for the next week, my Colosse is VBS. The rest of the year is still a mystery.

Hopefully starting January 1, 2010 my Colosse will be in 11 different countries next year. (my interview for the World Race is tomorrow. for more information, go to www.theworldrace.org)

But for now, I'll realize that I am in Christ, and this one thing, I share with millions of people all over the world. So no matter what city or town I am currently in, I am connected to the body of Christ, always.

*I'm just learning to be 23 places...* (or just 2)

slowly... getting... there...

books. i love books.

I picked up Les Miserables again, the 1460 pager by Victor Hugo (who was getting paid by the word - if you were getting paid by the word, you'd write 1400 applicable pages and 60 on the battle of Waterloo too.)

I haven't read Les Mis since the plane on my way home from Africa. Every time I pick it up, I think of the many hours I spent sitting on our porch against the pole reading Les Mis while others worked on their homework. It reminded me too much of Africa, of the good times and the hard times. I don't know why I chose this week to pick it up again.

But I'm glad I did. As I sit here, in the library back at Tree of Life, it suddenly dawns on me that this book is one large story of redemption, at least, that's what my mom always says. I'm remembering it now. Redemption, forgiveness, a second chance. Hmm, sounds a lot like my life at this moment in time.

I needed time to process Africa, before I could pick this book up again. I've had that time. Those memories still come back. I still have to deal with consequences of my mistakes. But there is redemption, a wonderful redemption because of my Savior, who has forgiven me, and called me to a new and beautiful life. (hopefully more to come on this new life later!)

So even with the craziness of life right now between subbing and VBS, I'll hopefully finish the last 200 pages of Les Mis, completing one of my life goals of reading the entire unabridged version, and view the story in a whole new light.

bobs

I should be asleep. By my normal standards, this wouldn’t be late. But tomorrow is different. Yes, I am going back to school tomorrow to sub, but that’s not even why 11 at night is late. The reason is breakfast.

Bob Evans.

I don’t normally get excited about going to Bob Evans. It’s not like it’s my favorite restaurant or anything.

But there’s this group of people that get together and go to Bob Evans before school. I’m lucky enough to be one of the original five, along with my brother Matt, and our friends Anna and Dan Starkey and Alex Aurand. I’m lucky enough to be as crazy as these other four people that go to Bob Evans with me once or twice a year.

We’ve gone ever since I was a senior in high school. We went on special occasions, birthdays, end of the year, etc. When I left for college, the other four were still in high school and when I was home on holidays, we would go again. We’ve had special guests go with us some days, but it’s not the same if one of the original five is missing.

When we were all in high school, I would drive everyone in the mornings. For convenience, everyone would stay at the Termeer household the night before the Bobs breakfasts. Alex holed himself up in the guest bedroom so our cats wouldn’t bother his allergies. Dan was content to sleep on the couch, Matt slept in his room, and Anna and I would cram ourselves onto my twin bed. Those nights before, the morning breakfasts, and the crammed rides to school in a little Hyundai are some of my favorite memories of my senior year.

Tomorrow is the end of an era for Bobs. Anna and Matt graduated two years ago, and are home now. Dan and Alex graduate this year, and once that happens, our Bobs tradition will change. And that’s okay, but I know Bobs is something I’ll remember. And maybe one day, once all of us have been through our various schooling and we’re at home for something, we’ll wake up before 6 and go to Bobs for breakfast.

the meaning of a pink mug

There’s this scene in Return to Me when Minnie Driver is at the zoo with Bonnie Hunt and all her kids. She has this pink letter in her pocket that she has been carrying around for a year. It’s a thank you letter. For a heart. You see, Minner Driver had a heart transplant (and received David Ducovney’s wife’s heart, she later falls in love with David Ducovney, but that’s not the point of this post…) Anyways, she can’t bring herself to mail this letter. And Bonnie Hunt is yelling at her to just mail it. And Minnie Driver stands there, shaking the folded pint letter in her hand saying, “a thank you letter for a heart… it seems so… not enough.”

So… not enough.

That’s what mother’s day is, a day to say thank you to your mother, but the thank you seems so… not enough.

So, mom, here’s my not enough thank you for everything you’ve given me…

Thank you for:
Dollar theater movies.
Instilling in me a love of musicals, books, and Steel Magnolias.
Sharing your friends and Bible studies with me.
Shopping days.
Random gifts.
Putting me through college.
Always being involved in my schooling.
Not holding me back as I travel the world.
Wanting to visit wherever I am.
Being the one who’s always been there, who knows me better than I realize and for seeing past my mistakes to my heart.
Your love and grace.

And thank you most especially for your hugs. I and anyone else who’s ever received one know that yours are the best. I highly doubt I could survive without them.

The real meaning of the pink mug is this: I love you, more than I say, but I wanted you to know that you’re the best and I am thankful for you everyday, not just on mother’s day.

blessings of the unexpected

It has been nothing less than an interesting week. I think I could appropriately title it “Change and Growth” but that really just doesn’t sound cool enough. Don’t worry, I’ll work on it and come up with something better. But for now, I’ll just say that basically everything I am doing this week is included in the list of things I thought I would never do. Seriously.

1. Direct a VBS. Monday was a now-typical Monday. I meet with the other VBS director on Mondays and talk about everything we need to get done. Normally, these meetings last quite a while, and Monday was no exception. Most people don’t enjoy meetings, I understand this. And sometimes, I hate them too. But these VBS ones, looking ahead and getting a picture of what the week will hold, it makes these meetings exciting. And while it is a lot of work and many days I still feel I have no clue what I am doing, I’m learning and getting to work with people who have been so gracious and loving.

2. Go back to high school. Wednesday. Thursday. Friday. This, I NEVER thought I would do. And for the record, I am officially blaming Sheri Aurand and Laura Stier for my return to high school. Yes, I went back to high school. But not as a student (which is strange being that’s all I’ve known until now.) Yep, you guessed it. I’m a substitute teacher. At the small, wonderful high school I attended only four short years ago. Those years went by really fast… Substitute teaching has been more than an adventure. It has really been hilarious. And apparently, now I’m an adult. Although I sure don’t feel like it. Maybe I should be worried about things like getting a car, having health insurance, and other adult-like things. But I find myself strangely NOT worried. Somewhere inside my mind I know that God will provide for me. And it’s slowly reaching my heart, so that I am really truly believing this. And there’s this peace, this peace which passes all understanding. And that’s really all I can say about it, because I don’t understand it. All I know is that it’s there.

Life takes these strange turns. And I’m never sure why or sometimes even how they happen. But in 5 years, when I can look back, I wonder if I’ll see this week or month in a whole new light. I wonder if the craziness of May 2009 will make sense to me then. Sometimes I wonder where I’ll be in 5 years, but then I get overwhelmed and just stop thinking about it.

All I really know is this… God is in control (just like the old Twila Paris song). He WILL provide, in his own way. And if it’s directing VBS, substitute teaching at Tree or something else I don’t really expect, I’ll take it, because his adventures are always greater than mine. All I have to do is look back and see what he’s already done.

i've worn out the world

What does a goodbye look like? A goodbye to a place that’s been like a home for four years. What do you do? There’s no way you can say goodbye and give everyone you’ve met there a hug. There are people I had coffee with several times that I never officially said goodbye to. I found myself instead getting one last glance as I watched them on the screen walk across the stage and receive their diploma cover. I said goodbye in my head. I said goodbye for me, not for them. Because they’ve already moved on. I saw the people I needed to see, and said goodbye in my head to the others.

Driving away was different than I thought. I was already done with IWU the school. And this time, I was driving away from the people. And the people that were hardest to drive away from was this family that I had grown to love so much. I love their house. They have 6 children (one is a new baby), 2 ducks living in their kitchen, a cat with 3 new kittens and a goat tied in their backyard. When I walk in, I’m greeted with hugs and smiles, and I can sit and play and talk with them for hours. I love that place. That home was hard to leave. I would go back not for campus, not for IWU, but for that home, those incredible people.

I’ve worn out the IWU world. I’m done there. And I’m good. I’m better than good. There’s something new waiting for me. There’s a place where I will live. There are people I will meet. And while IWU is in my past, I’m not going to really miss it. I’ve carried the memories and the people with me.

It was a good place. I learned there, through good times and bad. But it’s officially over now, and I’m moving on.

Hello World…

*Now that I've worn out, I've worn out the world
I'm on my knees in fascination
Looking through the night
And the moons never seen me before
But I'm reflecting light

I wrote the pain down
Got off and looked up
Looked into your eyes
The lost open windows
All around
My dark heart lit up the skies

And now that I've worn, I've worn out the world
I'm on my knees in fascination
Looking through the night
And the moons never seen me before
But I'm reflecting light

Give up the ground
Under your feet
Hold on to nothing for good
Turn and run at the mean times
Chasing you
Stand alone and misunderstood

And now that I've worn, I've worn out the world
I'm on my knees in fascination
Looking through the night
And the moons never seen me before
But I'm reflecting light*

Reflecting Light – Sam Phillips (As seen in Gilmore Girls)