love, the chef

dear future housemates and friends at iwu,
i officially have our first meal picked out for the fall. you have to promise to eat it, and i'm telling you right now it's great. i know i promised i'd cook once a week, so for anyone brave enough to come to dinner, we'll have a good ol' navajo classic dish.

love,
the chef

a God I don't understand

“But today you have met a God you do not understand. Such is the mystery of His sovereignty. Such are his ways in every generation. No man has ever understood God, not fully. No man ever will. God will always be something other than what men expect Him to be. He will work out His will in ways different from what men forsee…

…the question is, “Will you follow a God you do not understand? Will you follow a God who does not live up to your expectations?” – The Prisoner in the 3rd Cell

I wonder why I was placed in Arizona.

Why, God, why?

youth group of the year

We’ve had three teams come and go. Houses have been repaired and painted, shades have been built, floors have been tiled, and a lot of food has been eaten. It’s hard to believe that half our teams are done and gone. Time flew by. And now, it was time for me to go on another adventure.

Ever since we arrived, I’ve heard the church youth group talk about Trail of Hope. It’s a native youth conference, a place for these guys to be encouraged and see what other native youth are doing around the area both on the rez and off. It’s like their own version of Christ in Youth conferences that I went to summers in high school.

I didn’t think I was going to get to go. It wasn’t until the night before that it was decided I would go. Chris and Townie had to stay to run errands and take care of things around the church. But God granted me yet another crazy adventure.

I wish I could express how much I love these people, especially the youth. Two of the girls have been my traveling companions as I pick up kids for kids club and they have been so much fun. The boys are always running around and helping me cook for the teams and Daniel the youth leader has become a friend that can be both crazy and serious. I was so excited to spend this time with them and share in the experience of Trail of Hope.

As with most things here, this trip was completely unpredictable. Everyone was chasing us off on Saturday, saying we were going to be late. In reality, the conference started on Sunday, and we had to buy some tarps and camp out on Saturday night since we were a day early. I loved it though: the randomness of life and the spontaneous decisions. They make my day without even knowing it.

The actual conference was really good, a little different from ones that I’ve been to in the past, but it was yet another learning experience for me. The kids were the best part. I got to see them learning more about God, I got to see and hear them worshipping and singing, and as always, I got to laugh with them and have fun.

And God spoke to me too. It’s a place I would never have expected to be and yet God showed me how I got there. I got to go to a seminar on missions, I got to meet some really cool people that are working with native youth. And I was challenged by what God is doing in my life. I knew after the first week that these people and this place would hold an extremely special place in my heart. I saw that even more as I spent time with the youth and Daniel on this trip. They mean so much to me, more than they might ever know.

On the last night awards were handed out to the youth pastor of the year, youth group member of the year, youth group of the year and there was a lifetime achievement award. Our youth from New Testament Indian Gospel Church won youth group of the year. I could see it coming. I was so incredibly happy they won. No other youth group deserved it more. These kids help out so much. There’s no way Chris and Townie and I could survive without them and what they do for us. And on crazy days, they keep us sane. When I see those boys pull up, I know the day is going to be alright. They make the long days worth it, and knowing that we get to hang out with them all summer is so wonderful.

They so deserved it, and when they opened their gift they were shocked. They won a Wii for being the youth group of the year.

And no one deserved it more. You gotta love them.

the lamb

Our third group left really early Friday morning, so we had a “day off”. Normally after groups leave, our days off consist of cleaning and running around, which is exactly what this Friday also entailed. I cleaned the grill and the food storage shed and headed off to Tuba City with James, Sarah, their daughter, Townie and Matt the journalist intern that had been with us for the week. Chris woke up really sick so we left him home deciding whether or not he wanted to survive. We were gone most of the afternoon and randomly ended up riding home with Felix so we could help butcher a sheep with the family that night.

The way home was more than interesting. Felix is one of those people with testimonies that you almost can’t believe because God took someone so broken and completely turned them around. And as Felix was sharing a part of his testimony with us, he was also asking us deep questions, like the one thing we would ask of God that would edify the church body and how do we recognize that we trust God completely in our lives. I wrestled with those that night. I wrestled with what Felix was talking about.

And then we get to grandma and grandpa’s house and we wrestle a sheep to the ground, tie it up and slit its throat. It was such a crazy picture. Once the sheep or lamb is tied up and lying down, it doesn’t cry at all. It simply lays down its life. Like Jesus, like my Savior did when he willingly gave up his life on the cross. I watched them slit the throat. I held the legs while they took off the skin. I helped hold the bowl as they pulled all the insides out of the sheep. I held up the fat so it could dry and then after they cut it into strips, I wrapped the intestines around the fat so they could cook it over the open fire. I ate the liver and the tongue and had the time of my life.

A few years ago, there’s no way I could have done any of that. There’s no way I could have watched any of that or participated in any way. But I look at where God has brought me, how’s he’s given me the grace to jump into different cultures like the Navajo and appreciate who they are and the traditions they carry.

Without the lamb dying, there’s no celebration, there’s no family party.

Without Jesus dying, there’s no party in heaven.

He died willingly… for you and me, so one day we can have a big feast.

what it's like to be followed

First off, I forgot to write about the nicknames that the Navajo have given us since we’ve been here. Chris just got his from a grandma that kept seeing him at the gas station driving the van. And so in Navajo she called him the tall white pole or an easy target. Alex has a t-shirt that says “townie” on it, so that’s what the boys started calling her and that’s probably what I’ll refer to her as throughout my blogs. And after I jokingly yelled at the boys for throwing a football they started calling me Mama Marge, or just Mama. It also applies since I’m the cook as well.

So, twice a week we have to take the trash to the dump about 30 minutes away. Normally, Chris does this since he’s technically in charge of the van. But on Tuesday, Chris was in charge of the evening program and so Alex and I had to do a late nite trash run (it wasn’t really midnight).

Now townie and I were off on an adventure. We’d only made this drive in the day and we were also only passengers. So townie made me drive since she’s short and she was real scared since it was just the two of us going to the dump by ourselves. We felt a little safer since we both had our knives (not that we’re great at using them for self defense yet).

It was a pretty entertaining drive and we kept getting passed because I don’t totally trust the van so I was going slower than most people would like. We get to the dump and we’re trying to throw these big trash bags into the dumps that are too tall. It was funny because we were trying to hurry since townie was so worried. Townie also thought she heard someone say “hey” from behind one of the big trash cans. We emptied the van as fast as we could and hurried to get back to the road.

Halfway home, we were passed by a car and had someone wave at us. Turns out, it was Jere Bear, Steven and Sister. They didn’t trust me and townie to take the trash all by ourselves and not get hurt. Well, at least they care that much to follow us out.

Just one of many crazy adventures.

flying

“All God wants to do is take you where you cannot go alone and make you what you cannot be alone. You were not created to live your life absent of God. There is a dream for your life you can’t even begin to imagine without God. Without him you are settling for less. If you were meant to fly, not even running really fast is that impressive.”
- Erwin McManus – Soul Cravings

I read the above book last summer when what I did all day was sit by the pool and watch two girls. Last year, I was dreaming. I knew then that this summer was going to be different, that this summer was going to take me somewhere I may not want to go. But I still couldn’t see it. At that point, I was still running really fast. And it wasn’t that impressive.

Today I feel as though I’m flying. Being here is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, and yet also one of the best. It’s hard now to imagine my life without these people in it. In one month’s time they have changed me. They have taught me so many things, so many life lessons. And I know without a doubt that if I left today I’d be a different person for the rest of my life.

The good news is that I’m not leaving today. I still have 6 more weeks with these amazing people. I get to live alongside them and participate fully in their culture. I’m flying. Last summer I was running safely. This summer I’m flying without a parachute.

But that’s all right. I was meant to fly.

“You can spend your whole life trying to become what your soul longs for without God. You might resent that he’s made it so hard for you to live out your dreams or fulfill your destiny. It’s never quite hit you that it’s in the struggle, in the process, even in our search for God, that he is making us strong enough to take flight.”
- Erwin McManus – Soul Cravings

the initiation

This morning at church, James and Sarah stood us up in height order (Chris, Me, Alex) in front of the congregation and talked in Navajo for a while. We had absolutely no idea what was going on until they handed each of us a knife and told us to always carry them with us and be prepared. When the Navajo’s ask, we better have our knives on us.
I didn’t know how to say thank you. We stood there dumbfounded. None of us had a clue that the church would do something like this for us. We were simply amazed. As I told someone this story later, she told me that the moments like this are the ones that make every heartache and backbreaking thing we do worth it. It seems to me like we’re a part of the family after all. And once again, I felt so blessed.

Every day is a new adventure. You never know what is going to happen; what challenges you’re going to face or what amazing moments you’re going to have. The pastor at Exit 59 where I go to church when I’m at school always says that he would have never dreamed he’d be where he is today and if he could have seen the future while in college, he wouldn’t have ever believed that this life would happen for him.
It feels like that this summer. If I could see into the future for the rest of the summer, I’m sure there are things that will come across my path that I would never have believed I’d do or handle. But that’s the beauty of living in the now, living day by day, and not worrying about what may happen tomorrow.
It’s still hard to believe I’m here: cooking outside for 50 people, washing pans with ash from the fire (it takes the fire burns off so your clothes don’t get black!), hiking down into canyons, eating new things, actually wanting to butcher a sheep, driving big vans on crazy dirt roads and tackling my fear of heights.
There are times when I wonder what in the world I’m doing here, and times when I’m simply amazed that I’ve had this incredible opportunity.