the paradigm shift

I could have sworn life was going to be easy after Arizona. I kept telling people jokingly that my last semester of school and Zambia were going to feel like a piece of cake.

Ha. I was wrong. Again.

Simple fact: God changed me this summer. I’ve known this. I knew that I came to school this semester more confident, more sure of who I was and who God was shaping me to be. I can say that I know who I am. I know what I like and don’t like. I know my strengths. I know what I’m good at and what I’m not so good at.

What I didn’t know was that the American culture holds absolutely no appeal for me now.

God not only shaped me as a person for what He wants me to do. He changed my mind. He changed my worldview. He changed my thinking. He changed the way I look at learning, school, my friends and other people that I’ve never met.

This thinking fit the Navajo culture. It doesn’t quite fit the IWU one.

I have this strong urge to destroy the whole educational system and start over. That’s how frustrated I am. In some way, higher education teaches us to only be worried about ourselves. And that sucks. Life is so much better when we stop thinking about what we need to do for ourselves during the day and cook a meal for someone else or write a letter to our grandparents or have coffee and listen to other people’s experiences.

I’m NOT done learning. I never will be.

But I’m done with the classroom.

Hello, outside world. You hold more lessons for me than I could ever imagine.


jediarcher said...

You are definately experiencing "re-entry". This is a very common experience for missionaries. I remember feeling anger, confusion, frustration and pity when we came back from Ukraine. It was hard to deal with the reality that God had changed me profoundly while everything else seemed to have just stayed the same. This culture shock happens every time we engage and invest in a new place and new people. The beauty of these experiences is that you dont have to choose one or the other, you can choose both and. God is at work everywhere, He influences all cultures, He speaks differently in each culture and He gets bigger (at least our perception of Him gets bigger) each time we encounter Him in a new way.

Bonzo said...

Wow - you are so radical, my little girl! I love that about you and am excited about how God will use your passion for HIS glory. So be done with the classroom. More power to you. I LOVE YOU!

rachel said...