the little girl in me

I have spent the past three days surrounded by kids who are half my size, little girls who are better basketball players than they were three months ago, who are still in elementary school, who are not ashamed to skip and dance and laugh out loud, and who have so many adventures ahead of them. I closely watched these 8 little girls on Friday, as I ref’d one of their games. I watched them play their last 36 minutes of Upward basketball this season on Saturday. I saw my dad and their parents beam with pride as my dad explained how far they’ve come this season and how much they’ve grown. And I celebrated with them today.

Julia, with the crazy hair, was who I saw myself as when I was that age. My dad disagreed. He said Sidney, who skips down the court, was the one that reminded him of me the most. And I remembered this video we have from when I was three or four, singing in front of church. I don’t remember myself at that age, but apparently, I loved to sing and dance. During a song the little kids were singing in front of church back in the day, I was standing in front, and I got excited about this song. So I started jumping, up and down, by myself. But soon, others joined in my enthusiasm, jumping up and down with me. My mom has memories of me dancing around the house singing along with a tape of “Sing Your Praise to the Lord.”

Somewhere around 2nd or 3rd grade, I got really shy. Yes, I am an introvert, but I really closed up for several years. And the dancing little girl in me got lost. That lasted for a long time. I took on the shy identity and made that who I always was. I forgot to really sing and dance. I didn’t know who I was or what I wanted to do.

In 2003, I went to Venezuela and found myself again in the adventure. I fell in love with the country and the people and traveling. I sang at the top of my lungs with those people and began to dance again. Every trip I take, I find another piece of myself, only to leave a piece of my heart with the people I meet and travel with. The little girl, uninhibited, is resurfacing. I want to jump and skip and dance and sing again.

So many people today told me I have the “adventurous spirit.” Is that what it’s called? This desire I have within me to go everywhere. People wonder where it’s from, my parents, other family members? I have no idea actually.

All I really know is this…

This adventurous little girl who will gladly hike up a mountain in Venezuela, play a softball game with strangers in the DR, go white water rafting (and fall out of the raft) in Costa Rica, hike down a canyon and cross a natural arch in Arizona, skydive in Ohio and ride on top of land cruisers in Zambia is not done being adventurous. She has no clue what’s next but she is ready and willing to go everywhere and do whatever God calls her to do.

The little girl in me is now really me.