band-aids and longer lasting pain

I no longer fully own my heart.

And I used to think that I left pieces of my heart in the places where I’ve been. I’m rethinking that. I haven’t just left random pieces in the places, I’ve given pieces away to people.

When I look back over my life, a life that to many would maybe seem unexciting, has been to me a grand adventure. The people I’ve met have been more than amazing, and it’s these people that own pieces of my heart, whether they know it or not.
And I guess that’s why it’s so hard to leave these people. They own a part of me, a part that while I am glad to give away, I will never give back. I always think when I leave that things will never be the same. I will never be with these people in this place again. And when I stop to think about it, it hurts. Really hurts.

When I left Africa, it was like ripping off a band-aid. It had to happen and I wasn’t really ready for it. It happened so fast and it hurt intensely for a while, but it wasn’t like anticipating leaving. And that is what my friends are going through right now.
Two incredible young women have spent since the beginning of January in Dubai. They come home in 3 weeks. And am I ever ready for them to come home. Yet, I know these last 3 weeks are going to be hard thinking that they will soon be leaving. This isn’t ripping off a band-aid. It’s something in which the pain lasts longer although with maybe a little less intensity.
In the end, the hurt is kind of the same.

Whether I leave fast or slow, I realize that I’ve still left a part of myself with the people.

So here’s a toast to the people who own a part of me that may not even realize they own. And here’s another to two amazing friends. May the next 21 days be more than you ever imagined. And when you get home and it hurts, I’ll be here.

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